Paralinguistics You Cannot
Not Communicate
When speaking we do are also doing so much more. Body
language, facial expression and non-verbal elements of the voice (pitch, pace,
tone, accent, &c) have far greater effect than most realise. All non-verbal
communication (everything that is not the words used) is known as paralanguage
Studies from the 1960s, often repeated and confirmed show
the breakdown of communication to be 55 38 7
55% body language
38% facial and vocal (but non-verbal) communication
7% language
So when you are communicating the effect that you on your
listeners is only 7% determined by what you say. The other 93% of the effect
that you have is determined by everything else.
Paralanguage is divided into two areas
·
Communicative
paralanguage is intended to enhance communication. These are the deliberate
gestures, stress and emphasis in speech, positive facial expressions should all
be chosen to match the point being made, to communicate that point more
effectively
·
Informative
paralanguage is unconscious and reveals what the speaker may really be
thinking. These include nervous tics, natural body position and expression, and
microexpressions (or tells) are all examples of
informative paralanguage
Conflicts
Because we do not always say what we mean there are often
conflicts between our paralanguage and our actual spoken language e.g. the
smile on the face is contradicted by the aggression in the tone of voice or expressing
enthusiasm for something whilst slouched, distracted by something else, or with
a defensive body posture.
When such conflicts occur, two general rules apply:
·
People
always believe the bigger number so they are more likely to believe your paralanguage
than your words because the paralanguage counts for 93% rather than the words
which account for a mere 7% of your impact
·
People
are biased toward the negative so if your tone is positive but your stance is
aggressive people are more likely to be influenced by the stance and see you as
aggressive
So, you need to always be aware not just of what you are
saying but how you are saying it.